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Dating someone who is a recovering alcoholic
The first detail I entered in my profile was that I was in recovery, so no, I did not want to meet for a drink. Then one day I received a message that read, "You're sober too? Then, as suddenly as the relationship began, it ended. It was enough to worry about keeping my own sobriety; I couldn't do the same for another person. I knew I was OK with being around alcohol even though I was sober.
" I responded and we hit it off, enough so that we decided to go on a real date. In retrospect, it was an awful location, since eating burritos is delicious but messy and not at all endearing. Sober Boy stopped responding to my texts and my calls were all forwarded to voicemail. Having gotten sober during college, I'd learned to tolerate being in the company of people who drank responsibly.
It has now been nearly two years since my last first date.
Though I didn't know it then, that would be the last time I drank. I quickly found that my life was better sober, and I ran with it.
Months later when I was in a good place, my mind wandered to dating.
There was a live band, and the music was reverberating off the walls of the garage.
A keg was in the corner, and everyone had drinks in their hands.
Our life together is different than I imagined, especially when I think back to early sobriety and remember how intent I was on dating someone who was sober — because Brandon isn't.
It hasn't always been easy to navigate dating a normal drinker, but we've managed.
So, in my post-heartbreak haze, I decided to reapproach dating.
With an open mind, I made more immediate connections than my first Tinder go-round by reaching out to matches rather than waiting for them to initiate conversation.
Because it was the home of someone he worked with, I knew no one there, which made an uncomfortable sober situation even more awkward.
I told Brandon to go socialize, and persisted that yes, I would be fine alone for a few minutes. Without alcohol, I didn't have the confidence or patience to shout over the din of the band and attempt to make small talk.