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Of course, as you know, you can't force or pressure your partner to open up and share what is bothering her.

But trust can be built by your assuring her that you care about her and would like to know, as difficult as it may be for her to tell you, about her feelings.

Girls are constantly going down on dudes as foreplay, or even mid-coitus sometimes, in order to get (and keep) the peen as hard as possible.

On the other hand, pre-penetrative oral sex on a woman isn't technically "necessary" for P-in-va-G to happen, and therefore the step is skipped often.

She said that she wished that I could read her mind about it, so what should I do???????

Signed, Confused Dear Confused, It's challenging in relationships when one person wants to try a new behavior and the other person doesn't.

I don't mean "intimate" like "I'd only do this for someone I love" intimate, but "This requires at least the good faith that you're as into my parts as I am into your parts." If the guy you're seeing has some kind of 7th-grade-boy aversion to vaginas, you should take your vagina/precious time/heart off the table completely.

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Let's face it — a lot of us are already self-conscious about them.Both the man and the woman are focused mostly on the penis.So basically, the penis is the A-list actor here; the vagina is just the no-name who's only around for a reaction shot. Sometimes the commenters on this website call me "Bitter Breslaw." You know why? And dating — with its invisible compromises and etiquette rules and waiting a certain period of time to respond to texts and weird dry-humping on the couch while neither of you watch National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation as planned — is awkward and emotionally exhausting as it is. Propping one under your butt during downtown action can maximize your pleasure by making your G-spot easier for him to access.Others feel that having oral sex, especially with a male partner, alters the balance of power in their relationship.Given all this possible background noise, it is hard for some women to imagine either receiving or giving pleasure this way.Should I keep asking her to open up to me or should I leave the situation alone?I'm asking because she began to cry when I confronted her about it.You might explain what you think you might like about it.Counseling for the two of you could help address some of the issues that may be making oral sex such a hot subject in your relationship.Some women worry that their vulvas are unattractive or unappealing, or that their own unique scent is "bad." If a woman has a woman as a partner, negative feelings about her own vulva could be projected onto her partner's, causing reluctance to go down on her.Some women believe that going down on a partner is against their religion.

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