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It means I am at the mercy of others and I am not in control of my own life.

But when I choose to forgive the wrongs done to me I am choosing to take control of my own life by submitting to God and obeying him rather than submitting to sin and refusing to forgive.

When I resist wiping the slate clean I am living a life of constant responding rather than leading.It means I don’t want you to pay for what you did, but I do want you to grow so you don’t do that again.“I forgive you” means I’m not going to hope you get punished for your past but I do hope you receive the corrective actions necessary so you can live a better future.When I am wronged by others it means my strength has been violated.Something is happening to me which I did not consent to nor did I allow. When I refuse to forgive I am embracing victimhood as my identity and remaining in weakness.I can’t forgive an offense I refuse to admit was truly an offense.So when I say, “I forgive you,” it means I am embracing the reality of their sinful actions but freeing them of my anger and desire for retribution.“I forgive you” does not mean I am admitting the wrongs were not that bad.“I forgive you” does not mean I must pretend that the sins of others did not affect me.It does not mean that I will instantly forget the offense or stop feeling hurt when these three words leave my lips.“I forgive you” does not mean the relationship will now be instantly restored as though that sin never took place.

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